Saturday, May 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
SENDA GURAU HUJUNG 2009
Tergelak Awal Tahun 2010
Sani Sudin ni tak pernah susah hati. Tergelak selalu.
Nak Tergelak 1:
Pagi itu dari Penang nak ke KL. Bukan jauh sangat, cuma ke Setapak saja. Ketika membeli tiket Mas, ada sekumpulan lelaki sedang berbual. Barangkali mereka pun nak ke KL. Pakaian baju putih tangan pendek, ada selang pangkat di bahu.
Seorang lelaki Cina yang sudah tua, baru saja membeli tiket ke Singapura, selepas saya. Lebih kurang 10 ela beredar, dekat dengan kumpulan lelaki yang kuat gebang pasal 1 Malaysia, lelaki Cina itu berpatah balik ke kauter jualan tiket.
“Hallo brother, boleh tanya sikit ka?” katanya kepada lelaki penjual tiket kapal terbang.
‘Boleh, apa hal?” melentik lidah penjual tiket itu ramahnya.
“Itu kapal terbang saya mau naik, haiyaaa ada injin ka?”
Sekumpulan lelaki asyik berbual berbaju putih itu terkejut beruk.
Saya tergelak, hua…hua…huaaa.
Nak Tergelak 2:
2. Keluarga mangsa terima permohonan maaf bapa pemandu/pemandu Sani Express, yang kemalangan 26 Disember 2009 lalu yang memautkan 10 penumpang.
Ini yang nak tergelak. Era ini mana ada orang mahu minta maaf.
Hiss hiiss hiisss kalau tak minta maaf hatta membunuh pun, bukan nak jadi apa malah lagi kebai, lagi loklak, lagi megah, lagi terkenai.
Nak Tergelak 3:
Jika ikhlas, letak jawatan sebagai Menteri Besar, kata Ibrahim Ali yang terkenal dengan ahli politik lompat katak kepada Datuk Nik Aziz.
Sebabnya mudah weee. Kalau kerajaan Kelantan pinda Undang-undang Tubuh Kerajaan Negeri bagi membolehkan bukan Melayu menjadi Menteri Besar.
Nak tergelak sungguh. Yang Umno waktu beliau jadi Umno dulu, banyak Melayu berkuasa melalui menang kerusi, dah lama tonggek jubur bagi bukan Melayu yang seumpama berstatus BM juga.
Huaaa huuaaa huuwaaa!
Nak Tergelak 4:
Di Caruk Kura di sebelah utara ni, dengar khabar samseng peliwat budak-budak pondok semakin menjadi.
Alaa, memang pun ada tradisi dalam pondok dulu-dulu, main liwat bukan anih. (Baca buku karya Awang Had salleh)
Tapi anih dan bagusnya orang dulu tak mengadu kepada Tok Penghulu si anu liwatnya, di polan rogol liwatnya. Kalau terbongkar yang dia kena liwat, satu kampung bedengung bedengang, riuh gempar dan malulah semua keluarga.
Tapi sekarang lain pula. Yang kena liwat, macam di negeri Buruj Sireh, mati-mati dia kata dia diliwat. Tak apalah kalau sekadar itu. Tapi yang nak tergelaknya, dulu-dulu hingga sekarang, orang kata ‘doktor’ tuhan kerajaan. Kalau doktor kata sakit, kalau tak sakit pun dia boleh cuti. Kalau doktor kata demam, telan karbait pun mesti kata demam. Bos tak boleh kata bohong.
Tapi sekarang, berapa ramai doktor kata tidak, ada orang tetap kata ya. Yang nak tergelak, gomen tak pula pakai pengakuan ‘tuhan’ kerajaan.
Pelik. Ini yang nak tergelak.
Nak Tergelak 5:
Tertelan skru pun satu hal. Anihnya semua bimbang dan kata bahaya.
Memanglah bahaya. (Sinar Rabu 30 Disember 2009)
Nak tergelaklah tu. Yang telan berbilion ringgit, berjuta-juta, harta anak yatim, duit zakat, duit kerajaan, mamah saham, kunyah syer, gembol-gembol projek, tak pula kata bahaya.
Mukalu dulu-dulu, mereka kata kubur akan berasap.
Nak tergelak sungguh. Doa semakin tumpul kot.
Nak Tergelak 6:
Sekeluarga tinggal dalam dangau (Sinar 30 Disember 2009, ms U9)
Yang itu pun nak tergelak?
Adakah sekeluarga itu bersungut panas, tidur malam atas lantai?
Adakah dua cucu menangis kerana gatal belakang?
Adakah Tukwan sakit tulang belakang kerana tak ada tilam MyDream?
Adakah Feah, atuk tua itu tak sempat mimpi malam?
Adakah mereka pernah pohon hawa dingin tiga set?
RM300 sebulan tak disebut pun tak cukup beli Mercedis.
Bayar sewa rumah RM70 setahun, tak pun macam Majlis Bandaraya bising pungut cukai.
Rumah tepi hutan, tak pula teringin buat padang golf.
Yang nak tergelak...
Tun Tan Tin Datin Sri Sru Serai
Yang bertali leher, yang ranggi mewah berbilion-bilion
Sering tak cukup malah nak salin anak tangga rumah emak di kampung tak sempat.
Nak tergelak sungguh. Huwaaa huuuwaaa huwwaaa.
Nak Tergelak 7:
Ni nak tanya sikit, macam mana kita tubuh mahkamah dan dakwa;
Kalau bunuh, kata saja sudah sampai ajalnya.
Kalau makan rasuah, SPRM kunci kata; dah rezekinya.
Kalah pilihanraya: itu kuasa SPR. Undi itu rahsia.
Kalau berjaya menipu, peguam dakwa kata; jangan dengki, itu rezeki orang.
Kalau kalah dalam pertandingan; katakan saja sudah suratan.
Kalau menipu, kata kuat-kuat; janji Tuhan pasti.
Runtuh dan gempa bumi; itu kerbau yang tanggung dunia beralih lenguh.
Kalau hilang; nak buat macam mana kita tak nampak.
Kalau hilang yang besar-besar; kan senang kita jumpa. Sabarlah.
Kalau seleweng? Jangan tuduh dan buat fitnah, berdosa.
Kalau celupar? Memang dia tak ada tauliah. Tangkap saja.
Kalau susah? Itu dugaan dunia. Allah bersama kita.
Kalau kaya? Itu anugerah Allah.
Kalau ekonomi jatuh: Katakan, kita sedang bangkit.
Kalau tak ada duit? Kita masih boleh makan.
Kalau nak mati?: mengucap cepat-cepat.
Dan yang nak tergelak akhirnya, cuba bayangkan orang tua yang hampir nyanyuk, dia masih nak bangun berjalan, berburdah macam orang muda. Cakapnya macam dia buat dulu semua betul.
Huwaaa huwaaaa huuwaaa!
Posted by Tukya at 10:50 AM 3 comments
Labels: Catatan
Sani Sudin ni tak pernah susah hati. Tergelak selalu.
Nak Tergelak 1:
Pagi itu dari Penang nak ke KL. Bukan jauh sangat, cuma ke Setapak saja. Ketika membeli tiket Mas, ada sekumpulan lelaki sedang berbual. Barangkali mereka pun nak ke KL. Pakaian baju putih tangan pendek, ada selang pangkat di bahu.
Seorang lelaki Cina yang sudah tua, baru saja membeli tiket ke Singapura, selepas saya. Lebih kurang 10 ela beredar, dekat dengan kumpulan lelaki yang kuat gebang pasal 1 Malaysia, lelaki Cina itu berpatah balik ke kauter jualan tiket.
“Hallo brother, boleh tanya sikit ka?” katanya kepada lelaki penjual tiket kapal terbang.
‘Boleh, apa hal?” melentik lidah penjual tiket itu ramahnya.
“Itu kapal terbang saya mau naik, haiyaaa ada injin ka?”
Sekumpulan lelaki asyik berbual berbaju putih itu terkejut beruk.
Saya tergelak, hua…hua…huaaa.
Nak Tergelak 2:
2. Keluarga mangsa terima permohonan maaf bapa pemandu/pemandu Sani Express, yang kemalangan 26 Disember 2009 lalu yang memautkan 10 penumpang.
Ini yang nak tergelak. Era ini mana ada orang mahu minta maaf.
Hiss hiiss hiisss kalau tak minta maaf hatta membunuh pun, bukan nak jadi apa malah lagi kebai, lagi loklak, lagi megah, lagi terkenai.
Nak Tergelak 3:
Jika ikhlas, letak jawatan sebagai Menteri Besar, kata Ibrahim Ali yang terkenal dengan ahli politik lompat katak kepada Datuk Nik Aziz.
Sebabnya mudah weee. Kalau kerajaan Kelantan pinda Undang-undang Tubuh Kerajaan Negeri bagi membolehkan bukan Melayu menjadi Menteri Besar.
Nak tergelak sungguh. Yang Umno waktu beliau jadi Umno dulu, banyak Melayu berkuasa melalui menang kerusi, dah lama tonggek jubur bagi bukan Melayu yang seumpama berstatus BM juga.
Huaaa huuaaa huuwaaa!
Nak Tergelak 4:
Di Caruk Kura di sebelah utara ni, dengar khabar samseng peliwat budak-budak pondok semakin menjadi.
Alaa, memang pun ada tradisi dalam pondok dulu-dulu, main liwat bukan anih. (Baca buku karya Awang Had salleh)
Tapi anih dan bagusnya orang dulu tak mengadu kepada Tok Penghulu si anu liwatnya, di polan rogol liwatnya. Kalau terbongkar yang dia kena liwat, satu kampung bedengung bedengang, riuh gempar dan malulah semua keluarga.
Tapi sekarang lain pula. Yang kena liwat, macam di negeri Buruj Sireh, mati-mati dia kata dia diliwat. Tak apalah kalau sekadar itu. Tapi yang nak tergelaknya, dulu-dulu hingga sekarang, orang kata ‘doktor’ tuhan kerajaan. Kalau doktor kata sakit, kalau tak sakit pun dia boleh cuti. Kalau doktor kata demam, telan karbait pun mesti kata demam. Bos tak boleh kata bohong.
Tapi sekarang, berapa ramai doktor kata tidak, ada orang tetap kata ya. Yang nak tergelak, gomen tak pula pakai pengakuan ‘tuhan’ kerajaan.
Pelik. Ini yang nak tergelak.
Nak Tergelak 5:
Tertelan skru pun satu hal. Anihnya semua bimbang dan kata bahaya.
Memanglah bahaya. (Sinar Rabu 30 Disember 2009)
Nak tergelaklah tu. Yang telan berbilion ringgit, berjuta-juta, harta anak yatim, duit zakat, duit kerajaan, mamah saham, kunyah syer, gembol-gembol projek, tak pula kata bahaya.
Mukalu dulu-dulu, mereka kata kubur akan berasap.
Nak tergelak sungguh. Doa semakin tumpul kot.
Nak Tergelak 6:
Sekeluarga tinggal dalam dangau (Sinar 30 Disember 2009, ms U9)
Yang itu pun nak tergelak?
Adakah sekeluarga itu bersungut panas, tidur malam atas lantai?
Adakah dua cucu menangis kerana gatal belakang?
Adakah Tukwan sakit tulang belakang kerana tak ada tilam MyDream?
Adakah Feah, atuk tua itu tak sempat mimpi malam?
Adakah mereka pernah pohon hawa dingin tiga set?
RM300 sebulan tak disebut pun tak cukup beli Mercedis.
Bayar sewa rumah RM70 setahun, tak pun macam Majlis Bandaraya bising pungut cukai.
Rumah tepi hutan, tak pula teringin buat padang golf.
Yang nak tergelak...
Tun Tan Tin Datin Sri Sru Serai
Yang bertali leher, yang ranggi mewah berbilion-bilion
Sering tak cukup malah nak salin anak tangga rumah emak di kampung tak sempat.
Nak tergelak sungguh. Huwaaa huuuwaaa huwwaaa.
Nak Tergelak 7:
Ni nak tanya sikit, macam mana kita tubuh mahkamah dan dakwa;
Kalau bunuh, kata saja sudah sampai ajalnya.
Kalau makan rasuah, SPRM kunci kata; dah rezekinya.
Kalah pilihanraya: itu kuasa SPR. Undi itu rahsia.
Kalau berjaya menipu, peguam dakwa kata; jangan dengki, itu rezeki orang.
Kalau kalah dalam pertandingan; katakan saja sudah suratan.
Kalau menipu, kata kuat-kuat; janji Tuhan pasti.
Runtuh dan gempa bumi; itu kerbau yang tanggung dunia beralih lenguh.
Kalau hilang; nak buat macam mana kita tak nampak.
Kalau hilang yang besar-besar; kan senang kita jumpa. Sabarlah.
Kalau seleweng? Jangan tuduh dan buat fitnah, berdosa.
Kalau celupar? Memang dia tak ada tauliah. Tangkap saja.
Kalau susah? Itu dugaan dunia. Allah bersama kita.
Kalau kaya? Itu anugerah Allah.
Kalau ekonomi jatuh: Katakan, kita sedang bangkit.
Kalau tak ada duit? Kita masih boleh makan.
Kalau nak mati?: mengucap cepat-cepat.
Dan yang nak tergelak akhirnya, cuba bayangkan orang tua yang hampir nyanyuk, dia masih nak bangun berjalan, berburdah macam orang muda. Cakapnya macam dia buat dulu semua betul.
Huwaaa huwaaaa huuwaaa!
Posted by Tukya at 10:50 AM 3 comments
Labels: Catatan
Friday, November 27, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
23 May 2009
Gadis 17 tahun jadi doktor
DR. RIANA
YOGYAKARTA - Seorang remaja kelahiran Banda Aceh, Riana Helmi menjadi doktor pada usia 17 tahun 11 bulan, lapor sebuah akhbar semalam.
Dr. Riana yang bertubuh kecil berjaya menamatkan pengajian selama tiga tahun enam bulan dengan memperoleh purata nilai gred kumulatif 3.67.
"Ya, Alhamdulillah, saya menjadi siswazah perubatan termuda," kata gadis itu di Universiti Gadjah Mada, di sini.
Dr. Riana lahir di Banda Aceh, Nanggroe, Aceh Darussalam pada 22 Mac 1991 dan dia mendaftar memasuki fakulti perubatan universiti itu pada September 2005 menerusi saluran bakat istimewa.
Ketika itu, dia berumur 14 tahun.
Gadis itu tidak menyembunyikan kesukarannya ketika menyiapkan tugasan ketika belajar bersama pelajar yang lebih tua daripadanya.
"Kesulitan kerana tugas yang banyak tetapi syukurlah semua itu dapat saya atasi," katanya yang belajar mengenai kanser payu dara.
Dr. Riana bercita-cita untuk melanjutkan pengajiannya dengan menjadi doktor pakar.
Sejak kecil, dia dikenali kerana memiliki kecerdasan yang istimewa ketika belajar di sekolah menengah di Sukabumi, Jawa Barat dengan melompat kelas.
Dia akan menjadi doktor perubatan sepenuh masa selepas dua tahun menjalani latihan.
"Saya sama seperti pelajar-pelajar lain yang tidak menumpukan sepenuh masa hanya dengan belajar," katanya. - Agensi
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
HARI JADI IKA KE 15 PADA 31-10-09; BERSAMA KAWAN DAN KELUARGA.
IKA tengah potong kekAbah doa Ika cemerlang dalam PMR yang baru lepas.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
KERTAS SOALAN PMR DAN SPM: TQ CIKGU RAJAEI
Friday, September 11, 2009
Kertas Soalan Percubaan Matematik PMR l SPM 2009
- Akhir Tahun F4 Trengganu 2007
- Extra Homework For Form 4 Students
- KERTAS SPM SEBENAR 2006
- KERTAS SPM SEBENAR 2008
- Mathematics Julai 2009
- Mid Term Melaka 2009 PMR Mathematics
- Mid Term Melaka 2009 SPM Mathematics
- Mid year PMR SBP 2008
- Mid Year SPM F5 SBP 2007
- Mid Year SPM Terrenganu 2008
- Trial MRSM SPM 2008
- Trial Perlis 2009 SPM Add Mathematics
- Trial Perlis 2009 SPM Mathematics
- Trial PMR Johor 2008
- Trial PMR Melaka 2008
- Trial PMR Negeri Kedah 2008
- Trial PMR Negeri Kelantan 2008
- Trial PMR Negeri Pahang 2008
- Trial PMR Negeri Perak 2008
- Trial PMR Negeri Perlis 2008
- Trial PMR Negeri Sarawak 2008
- Trial PMR Negeri Sembilan 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Johor 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Kedah 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Kelantan 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Melaka 2007
- Trial SPM Negeri Pahang 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Perak 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri PERLIS 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Perlis 2009
- Trial SPM Negeri Sabah 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Sarawak 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Selangor 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Sembilan 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Terengganu 2008
- Trial SPM Negeri Terengganu 2007
- Trial SPM SBP 2006
- Trial SPM SBP 2007
- Trial SPM SBP 2008
- Trial SPM Times 2007
- Trial SPM TIMES.My 2008
- Trial SPM Wilayah Persekutuan 2008
Anda mungkin juga meminati:
Monday, September 28, 2009
Saudara saudari muslimahTuesday, September 22, 2009
Anak saudara bersama Paman Hisham dan Bik Jebeng
Abah sedang pekena Sup daging bersama Wak yek, Paman Hisham (menbelakangi) dan Wak Jaimah (Isteri Wak Lias)
KELUARGA KITAMonday, September 7, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
KEMATIAN; TELAH KEMBALI KE RAHMATULLAH HAJJAH SOMIAH BINTI SUNGIP; IBU/NENEK YANG TERCINTA PADA 29-8-08 (8 RAMADAN 1430).
Akan sayulah rumah ini kehilangan penghuni asalnya...
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat oleh Allah taala...
Monday, August 10, 2009
HARI KELUARGA? BUKAN... HANYA ADIK BERADIK KUMPUL UNTUK MAJILIS TAHLIL DAN DOA SELAMAT UNTUK ARWAH EMAK DAN BAPAK. ALFATIHAH...
Majlis tahlil arwah dan doa selamat
Tarikh : 9-8-09
Masa: lepas asar
Juga untuk doa selamat anak; Siti hajar nak ke Mesir untuk pengajian perubatan; 6 tahun... gambar diatas; hajar dan adik adik. lepas ni kena tunggu lama untuk bergurau.
Nor dan anak anak saudara; dah sama besar dan sihat sihat...
Lepas tahlil; kena layan paman chondeng, bro Roslan, Shahrul dan Abang lias, santai kambing bakar.
Bakar jangan tak bakar; kambing 5 kilo ingat tak ada yang nak, rupanya dapat 2 keping je...
Kenangan bersama kakak dan adik beradik: mak bapak dah tak ada, buat kenduri tahlil santai je pun dak ok....
Tarikh : 9-8-09
Masa: lepas asar
Juga untuk doa selamat anak; Siti hajar nak ke Mesir untuk pengajian perubatan; 6 tahun... gambar diatas; hajar dan adik adik. lepas ni kena tunggu lama untuk bergurau.
Nor dan anak anak saudara; dah sama besar dan sihat sihat...
Lepas tahlil; kena layan paman chondeng, bro Roslan, Shahrul dan Abang lias, santai kambing bakar.
Bakar jangan tak bakar; kambing 5 kilo ingat tak ada yang nak, rupanya dapat 2 keping je...
Kenangan bersama kakak dan adik beradik: mak bapak dah tak ada, buat kenduri tahlil santai je pun dak ok....
ALAMAK PANADOL ADA SIDE AFFECT LA...
TRY
100PLUS & WATER - NOT PANADOL
DON'T
TAKE PANADOL AND PANADOL ACTI FAST AND PANADOL SOLUBLE
especially if you have gastric problems.
FYI... One real story from a friend....
My husband was working in a hospital as an IT engineer, as the hospital is planning to set up a database of its patient. And he knows some of the doctors quite well.
The doctors used to tell him that whenever they have a headache, they are not willing to take PANADOL (PARACETMOL) . In fact, they will turn to Chinese Herbal Medicine or find other alternatives.
This is because Panadol is toxic to the body, and it harms the liver. According to the doctor, Panadol will reside in the body for at least 5 years. And according to the doctor, there used to be an
incident where an air stewardess consumes a lot of panadol during
her menstrual as she needs to stand all the time. She's now in her
early 30's, and she needs to wash her kidney (DIALYSIS) every month.
As said by the doctor that whenever we have a headache,
that's because it is due to the electron/Ion imbalance in the brain.
As an alternative solution to cope with this matter, they suggested
that we buy 1 or 2 cans of isotonic drink ( eg.100PLUS), and mix it
with drinking water according to a ratio of 1:1 or 1:2 (simply, it
means one cup 100plus, one cup water.or 2 cups water).
Me and my husband have tried this on several occasions, and it seems to work well. Another method will be to submerge your feet in a basin of warm water so that it brings the blood pressure down from your throbbing head.
As Panadol is a pain killer, the more Panadol you take, the
lesser would be your threshold for pain (your endurance level for
pain).We all will fall ill as we aged, for woman, we would
need to go through childbirth. Imagine that we had spent our entire life popping quite a substantial amount of Panadol (Pain Killer) when you need to have a surgery or operation, you will need a much more amount of general anesthetic to numb your surgical pain than the average person who seldom or rarely takes Panadol ... If you have a very high intake of Panadol throughout your life (Migraine, Menstrual cramps) it is very likely that normal general anesthetic will have no effects on you as your body is pumped full with panadol and your body is so used to pain killer that you would need a much stronger pain killer, Morphine??
Value your life,
THINK \b4 you easily pop that familiar pill into your mouth again.
Please send this to people you care about.
10 JALAN NAK KUATKAN INGATAN; CUBA LA
10 way to boost memory
Everyone forgets things from time to time. But for some people, poor memory can be a perennial problem. The brain never actually loses a memory. It records each one like a computer.
However, problems with recall begin when we don't practise retrieving this information and so the memories we had become lost. The brain, like other parts of the body, needs physical and mental exercise, together with particular nutrients, to increase the power of memory. Here are 10 things to remember to do in order never to forget anything ...
1 – Eat Soya
According to Professor Sandra File, head of the psychopharmacology research unit at Guy's Hospital in London, isoflavones, the natural plant oestrogens in soya foods, might act on oestrogen receptors in the human brain, particularly those in the hippocampus, a crucial area for memory.
According to Professor Sandra File, head of the psychopharmacology research unit at Guy's Hospital in London, isoflavones, the natural plant oestrogens in soya foods, might act on oestrogen receptors in the human brain, particularly those in the hippocampus, a crucial area for memory.
As a result, new nerve connections form more readily. Medical trials revealed that those fed a high soya diet showed improvements in verbal and non-verbal memory and in mental flexibility, all of which are controlled by the brain's frontal lobes. Soya can be added to the diet through natural products such as soya milk or through a recommended daily 50mg soy isoflavone supplement.
2 - Take memory Minerals
Studies at Kings College, London, and the University of Rochester in New York showed that a reduced iron intake can have a detrimental effect on IQ levels and cognitive function.
This is because of lack of iron causes low haemoglobin levels, which affect the supply of oxygen to the brain. Iron also plays an important role in the transmission of signals in the brain. A deficiency of zinc, found in oysters, red meat and peanuts, can also interfere with memory. Take a supplement of 7 to 9mg daily.
Studies at Kings College, London, and the University of Rochester in New York showed that a reduced iron intake can have a detrimental effect on IQ levels and cognitive function.
This is because of lack of iron causes low haemoglobin levels, which affect the supply of oxygen to the brain. Iron also plays an important role in the transmission of signals in the brain. A deficiency of zinc, found in oysters, red meat and peanuts, can also interfere with memory. Take a supplement of 7 to 9mg daily.
3 – Drink Coffee
Caffeine can improve mental and memory performance because it stimulates many regions of the brain that regulate wakefulness, arousal, mood and concentration.
Researchers at the University of Arizona found that older adults who drank half a pint of coffee just before a memory test saw a large improvement in performance compared to those who drank decaffeinated coffee. However, the benefits might be confined to regular coffee drinkers. Others could suffer side effects such as shakiness, anxiety or impaired concentration.
It's still best to drink no more than six cups of coffee a day – those with heart problems should drink less. Too much brewed or percolated coffee can raise blood cholesterol – instant or filter coffee are better choices.
Caffeine can improve mental and memory performance because it stimulates many regions of the brain that regulate wakefulness, arousal, mood and concentration.
Researchers at the University of Arizona found that older adults who drank half a pint of coffee just before a memory test saw a large improvement in performance compared to those who drank decaffeinated coffee. However, the benefits might be confined to regular coffee drinkers. Others could suffer side effects such as shakiness, anxiety or impaired concentration.
It's still best to drink no more than six cups of coffee a day – those with heart problems should drink less. Too much brewed or percolated coffee can raise blood cholesterol – instant or filter coffee are better choices.
4 – Mental Exercise
Research has shown that mental stimulation keeps the brain healthy and increases the strength of memory.
As we age, it is normal to have changes in memory, but keeping the mind active does diminish weaknesses. Clinical psychologist Ron Bracey suggests using techniques such as puzzles, crosswords and widening cultural and social interests, all of which create different pathways in the brain.
Research has shown that mental stimulation keeps the brain healthy and increases the strength of memory.
As we age, it is normal to have changes in memory, but keeping the mind active does diminish weaknesses. Clinical psychologist Ron Bracey suggests using techniques such as puzzles, crosswords and widening cultural and social interests, all of which create different pathways in the brain.
5 – Physical Exercise
Half-an-hour of activity three times a week is enough to bring about significant increase in brain power; says a study at the Duke University Medical Centre in North Carolina.
Exercise improves the heart’s ability to pump blood more effectively. Memory benefits from improved blood flow to specific regions at the front of the brain whose functions include planning, organization and the ability to juggle different intellectual tasks.
Half-an-hour of activity three times a week is enough to bring about significant increase in brain power; says a study at the Duke University Medical Centre in North Carolina.
Exercise improves the heart’s ability to pump blood more effectively. Memory benefits from improved blood flow to specific regions at the front of the brain whose functions include planning, organization and the ability to juggle different intellectual tasks.
6 – Chew Gum
Japanese researchers found that activity in the hippocampus, an area of the brain important for memory, increases while people chew. Recent research suggests that insulin receptors in the brain may be involved too, as chewing releases insulin because the body is expecting food.
But, says Dr Andre Scholey of the University of Northumbria, the simplest reason could be that chewing increases the heart rate, thus improving the delivery of oxygen to the brain and enhancing its cognitive powers.
Japanese researchers found that activity in the hippocampus, an area of the brain important for memory, increases while people chew. Recent research suggests that insulin receptors in the brain may be involved too, as chewing releases insulin because the body is expecting food.
But, says Dr Andre Scholey of the University of Northumbria, the simplest reason could be that chewing increases the heart rate, thus improving the delivery of oxygen to the brain and enhancing its cognitive powers.
7 – Take Ginkgo biloba
Ginkgo is the world’s oldest living tree. It has been used for memory enhancement in Eastern cultures for thousands of years.
Dr George Lewith, complementary health consultant to Boots, says Ginkgo improves blood circulation to the brain by dilating blood vessels and increasing its oxygen supply.
Ginkgo also mops up harmful compounds known as free radicals, which are thought to damage brain cells. Advised supplement dose is 120mg a day.
Ginkgo is the world’s oldest living tree. It has been used for memory enhancement in Eastern cultures for thousands of years.
Dr George Lewith, complementary health consultant to Boots, says Ginkgo improves blood circulation to the brain by dilating blood vessels and increasing its oxygen supply.
Ginkgo also mops up harmful compounds known as free radicals, which are thought to damage brain cells. Advised supplement dose is 120mg a day.
9 – Eat oily fish
Omega 3 fatty acids, found in oily fish, are essential components of brain cell membranes, and their role in cell structure is thought to improve the powers of memory. High concentrations of Omega 3 in the brain and nervous system not only boost learning powers and age-related memory, but also greatly enhance mood.
Omega 3 is a particularly important during foetal development, so pregnant women should have a regular supply. Good sources include fish such as sardines, salmon, herring and mackerel. Sardines are also a rich source of the nutrient choline, which is a key brain chemical associated with memory. Try to eat three portions of oily fish a week or take a supplement of 330mg three times a week.
Omega 3 fatty acids, found in oily fish, are essential components of brain cell membranes, and their role in cell structure is thought to improve the powers of memory. High concentrations of Omega 3 in the brain and nervous system not only boost learning powers and age-related memory, but also greatly enhance mood.
Omega 3 is a particularly important during foetal development, so pregnant women should have a regular supply. Good sources include fish such as sardines, salmon, herring and mackerel. Sardines are also a rich source of the nutrient choline, which is a key brain chemical associated with memory. Try to eat three portions of oily fish a week or take a supplement of 330mg three times a week.
9 – Rosemary and sage
Essential oil made from rosemary and sage can stimulate the memory, strengthen clarity and awareness and help to relieve mental fatigue. Psychologists at the University of Northumbria tested essential oils from rosemary on memory attention and mood and discovered it made volunteers feel more alter and enhanced their long-term memory by around 15%. Some studies have found that volunteers’ ability to remember lists of words improved by more than 10% if they had taken a capsule of sage oil.
Essential oil made from rosemary and sage can stimulate the memory, strengthen clarity and awareness and help to relieve mental fatigue. Psychologists at the University of Northumbria tested essential oils from rosemary on memory attention and mood and discovered it made volunteers feel more alter and enhanced their long-term memory by around 15%. Some studies have found that volunteers’ ability to remember lists of words improved by more than 10% if they had taken a capsule of sage oil.
10 – Take vitamin B
B vitamins deliver oxygen to the brain and provide protection against free radicals. They help to sharpen senses and boost memory. Niacin or B3 is particularly good for brain enhancement, while B6 is essential for the manufacture of neurotransmitters, especially mood-enhancing serotonin.
B12 is important for overall health of brain cells. B vitamins are also needed to help the body form acetylcholine, a key brain chemical needed for memory – Daily Mail.
B vitamins deliver oxygen to the brain and provide protection against free radicals. They help to sharpen senses and boost memory. Niacin or B3 is particularly good for brain enhancement, while B6 is essential for the manufacture of neurotransmitters, especially mood-enhancing serotonin.
B12 is important for overall health of brain cells. B vitamins are also needed to help the body form acetylcholine, a key brain chemical needed for memory – Daily Mail.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
WELL. LAWAK DARI SEBELAH SANA...
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay R200 for a R100 item he needs.
A woman will pay R100 for a R200 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a lot.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
George Carlin at age 102: (Absolutely Brilliant)IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.
George Carlin's Views on Ageing
Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... .. You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9.. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next country; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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Friday, June 19, 2009
REJAB IS COMING... TAKE THE OPPRTUNITIES
Assalammualaikum….
Sama samalah kita ingat mengingati amalan amalan mulia yang penuh berkat ini……….
BULAN REJAB
Pada 24 Jun 2009 (Rabu) kita memasuki bulan Rejab. Bulan Rejab adalah bulan Allah swt. Let’s overview ada apa di sebalik bulan Rejab itu.
Diriwayatkan bahwa Rasulullah saw telah bersabda, "Ketahuilah bahwa bln Rejab itu adalah bulan ALLAH swt, maka:”
1. Barang siapa yang berpuasa 1 hari dalam bulan ini dengan ikhlas, maka pasti ia mendapat keredhaan yang besar dari ALLAH swt
2. Dan barang siapa berpuasa pada tanggal 27 Rejab /Isra Mi'raj (Isnin, 20 Julai 2009) akan mendapat pahala seperti 5 tahun berpuasa
3. Barang siapa yang berpuasa 2 hari di bulan Rejab akan mendapat kemuliaan di sisi ALLAH swt
4. Barang siapa yang berpuasa 3 hari yaitu pada tanggal 1, 2, dan 3 Rejab (24, 25, 26 Jun 2009) maka ALLAH swt akan memberikan pahala seperti 900 tahun berpuasa dan menyelamatkannya dari bahaya dunia dan seksa akhirat
5. Barang siapa berpuasa 5 hari dalam bulan ini, insyaallah permintaannya akan dimakbulkan Allah swt..InsyaAllah
6. Barang siapa berpuasa 7 hari dalam bulan ini, maka ditutupkan 7 pintu neraka Jahanam dan barang siapa berpuasa delapan hari maka akan dibukakan 8 pintu syurga
7. Barang siapa berpuasa 15 hari dalam bulan ini, maka ALLAH swt akan mengampuni dosa-dosanya yang telah lalu dan menggantikan kesemua kejahatannya dengan kebaikan, dan barang siapa yang menambah (hari-hari puasa) maka ALLAH swt akan menambahkan pahalanya."
Sabda Rasulullah saw lagi :"Pada malam Mi'raj, saya melihat sebuah sungai yang airnya lebih manis dari madu, lebih sejuk dari air batu dan lebih harum dari minyak wan gi, lalu saya bertanya pada Jibril as "Wahai Jibril untuk siapakah sungai ini?"
Maka berkata Jibril as "Ya Muhammad sungai ini adalah untuk orang yang memb ac a selawat untuk engkau dibulan Rejab i ni."
Dalam sebuah riwayat Tsauban bercerita :"Ketika kami berjalan bersama-sama Rasulullah saw ke sebuah kubur, lalu Rasulullah saw berhenti dan beliau menangis dengan amat sedih, kemudian beliau berdoa kepada ALLAH swt. Lalu saya bertanya kepada beliau "Ya Rasulullah, mengapakah engkau menangis?" Lalu beliau bersabda "Wahai Tsauban, mereka itu sedang diseksa dalam kuburnya dan saya berdoa kepada ALLAH swt, lalu ALLAH swt meringankan atas mereka."
Sabda beliau lagi "Wahai Tsauban, kalaulah sekiranya mereka ini mahu berpuasa satu hari dan beribadah satu malam saja di bulan Rejab nescaya mereka tidak akan disiksa di dalam kubur." Tsauban bertanya "Ya Rasulullah, apakah hanya berpuasa satu hari dan beribadah satu malam dalam bulan Rejab sudah dapat mengelakkan dari seksa kubur?"
Sabda beliau "Wahai Tsauban, demi ALLAH Zat yang telah mengutus saya sebagai nabi, tiada seorang muslim lelaki dan perempuan yang berpuasa satu hari dan mengerjakan so lat malam sekali dalam bulan Rejab dengan niat karena ALLAH swt, kecuali ALLAH swt mencatatkan baginya seperti berpuasa satu tahun dan mengerjakan so lat malam satu tahun."
p:s Rebutlah 5 perkara sblm dtg 5 perkara
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
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